Individuality Is Choosing from Yourself

Gelme: I think individuality develops when what you see and experience passes through you.

If you only follow other people deciding what is beautiful and what is not, you may develop good taste for your time.

You may know what is fashionable.

You may know what people around you consider beautiful.

But that is not necessarily individuality.

At some point, you have to decide for yourself what you actually like.

The Other Voice: And individuality does not mean deliberately choosing the opposite of everyone else.

If something is popular and you refuse it only because it is popular, other people are still influencing your decision.

They are simply influencing it in the opposite direction.

Maybe individuality is not about choosing differently.

Maybe it is about choosing from yourself.

Gelme: Yes.

Social media is a good example.

It depends on the person.

Some people see something again and again, and eventually they want it because what they see starts to feel truthful to them.

Other people can see exactly the same things, but they let that information pass through themselves.

They ask:

“Does this fit me?”

“Does this fit my personality?”

“Do I actually like this?”

“Is this what I want?”

That is different.

The Other Voice: Then outside influence is not necessarily the enemy of individuality.

Actually, the more we see and experience, the more material we have to develop ourselves.

The important question is what we do with it.

Do we simply copy what enters us?

Or do we examine it, keep some of it, reject some of it, and transform the rest?

Gelme: Exactly.

You can still accept many things from your culture and feel completely individual.

Not everybody has to question everything.

Some people want to explore everything, compare everything, look from many different perspectives.

Other people are more comfortable accepting what is around them.

They are still individuals.

I don't think individuality means that everybody has to behave differently.

The Other Voice: So individuality and independent thinking are not exactly the same thing.

Every person is individual.

But not everyone has the same need to express that individuality outwardly.

And maybe some of the strongest individuality is almost invisible from the outside.

Gelme: I understand that much more now than when I was younger.

When I was young, being individual often meant being different.

I wanted different things.

I did not want to look like everyone else.

That was important to me.

Now I see it differently.

I can follow rules.

I can wear something simple.

I can even blend into the crowd.

That does not make me less individual.

Because individuality is not only about what other people can see.

It is about whether the choices I make actually belong to me.

The Other Voice: Maybe that is the more mature form of individuality.

When you no longer need difference as proof.

You can agree with the world when it feels right.

You can disagree when it does not.

And neither choice has to be a performance.

Gelme: Yes.

For me, that is freedom.

Not having to be different.

Not having to be the same.

Just being able to choose.